just a Thursday night

Christmas break has been good to me and Mr. Most mornings are filled with relaxation, a warm cup of coffee and in this case, a blueberry scone. Delish to the fullest. I'm feeling inspired lately. Ready to document my daily again, and post more than iPhone edited..square pictures. Anyone ever seen Kelle Hampton or Arielle Elise? So very inspiring with their bright, crisp photographs and thought provoking posts. My style is in the developing phase..and I'm quite sure that it never truly stops. But, these two ladies inspire me with their passion in photography and writing.

I want to create. learn. explore. sharpen. develop. inspire. and most importantly love and adore my passion. Sounds so refreshing and fulfilling.
 
“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking, and don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart,…you’ll know when you find it.” — Steve Jobs

seasons

the transition between seasons is refreshing. just when i cant stand the scorch of summer, leaves make their way south. colors change and light breezes swoop through the valley. sipping on pumpkin spice lattes peppered with cinnamon, on days just cold enough to wear cuffed pants and cardigans but not so cold that a pair of flip flops won't suit.

undoubtedly, the smell of spice permeating throughout my home and summer flowers replaced by splashes of warm toned accents will fill my spirits with fall. my text books will fall open more often than not as the semester unfolds, but partnered with fall festivities, motivation will reign through.

pumpkin patch trips, candy corn filled aisles, hot apple cider and the like, play over in my mind as the season shows itself more each day.

the cool breeze will blow, the leaves will change color and the official start of the new season will make its grand appearance before i know it. 

mindful musings

pictures to edit..text books to be read..work memorization to be done..emails to be answered..bills to be paid..gas tank to be filled..phone calls to be made

fun to be had?

i would like to think that i deserve a little fun amongst the exhaustive list above.

overwhelmed and ready for a break. life is busy and deployment is ever present. longing to kick that word to the curb, go days with out thinking about or even remembering the days of deployment. i've grown spiritually, independently and emotionally...that's all very true. but i'll save that post, those words will come at another time, as it's end draws closer maybe. reflecting on the growth and things i've learned will take some time. i want to remember some things, not many..but some. i want to reflect on it to the fullest.

but
feeling so blessed to have a job and education, time to fill the empty void of husband-less nights. thankful for mr and the man he is. thankful for his heart and the love he shows me every day. thankful for anniversary flowers and notes from across the ocean.

overwhelmed by the undeserving love of my Savior. though i neglect Him most days, never on purpose of course, the list above tends to fill the time. thanks for remembering me Jesus. when i'm not faithful to devote deserving time to you, i'm welcomed back with open arms. the idea of this blows my mind. who else does that? no one. i'm blessed and undeserving of such a love like this. thank you my Jesus.

the thoughts need to roll out, unedited and choppy sometimes. it might not make sense to most, the short sentences and barely finished thoughts. but they're written down now, stored somewhere in the archives of these posts.

maybe i'll look back in 4 years and remember thoughts after my first two weeks on the new job and senior year of college. i hope to remember the blessings in my life and always cherish what i've been given.

cliche? absolutely. but it's cliche for a reason.
Jesus is good to me, and i'll be forever grateful.

tired

another rainy day.
i slept til noon,
who does that unless you're 17?

it's the rainy days that
i don't want to leave the house.

they're my excuse days to stay in
and let the world pass by.

i can stay in my pajamas all day
and nobody will know.

i'm going to a wedding tonight.

it'll be amazing to see the beginning of a new love,

but i fear i will miss my own love
in such an excruciating way.
the trickle of the rain
 makes me long for my love.
 i don't feel strong, and yet i'm told i am
by so many.
sometimes i don't want to hear it though
because i'd rather be weak and
let the truth show through.
i see the pictures on my walls
and try to bring myself back to those times
the giggles
the kisses
looking into his eyes
i wish so badly for that right now.
i feel terrible complaining
as so many people have forever lost
loved ones in Japan.
my pain is fleeting,
but there's will last a lifetime.
i know it's selfish and not the end of the world
but it still hurts
and it's still my here and now.
i suppose i should make myself a happy list.
things i'm grateful for
reasons to love and live.
i should go in detail because
the details make up some of the most
beautiful memories of things i love.
delicious food
beautiful pictures
sunny days
beautiful scriptures
a good book
and i will.
at some point.
just not today.
i need the sun to shine
i'm tired of this rain day after day.
how depressing is this,
i really am a happy person
but the dreary gray skies just aren't
my cup of tea.
clearly.
just a glimpse of sun, please
i'm tired of rain.