Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts

The art of losing myself in bringing You praise


This post might ramble on and make absolutely no sense to you, whoever you are that's reading this. But I have been thinking lately and sometimes writing out those thoughts almost feels like I'm talking to someone on the other end. So whoever you are on the other end, thanks for listening and caring about my thoughts. As I write this, I have you in mind and it feels like you're sitting on the other side of your computer screen nodding your head, listening with great intent, and sipping your tea. So, thanks and please, sip on.

I've been thinking about my life, where I'm at, where I'm going, fears, contentment vs. motivation, and how all of these things add up to my overall purpose in this life. I've considered what it is I want to fill my mind with, and things that I don't think I need to fill my mind with. I sometimes feel a lot of pressure from people and the media to be a certain way, and anything outside of that is less than standard. But it's really hard to keep up with people and life in general sometimes. There's a constant need to progress with the times, and stay current on whatever it is that you're expected to know. And to me, sometimes this need for progression may cause you to lose track of your real purpose. It's so easy to become obsessed with looking the part, being the best, beating the competition, living the "dream" etc.

My purpose in this life is to serve others, and show them the love of Christ. Plain and simple. I want my time here to be driven by that. I never ever want to forget where my blessings come from. Nothing that I do should ever come from a place that lifts ME up. I must decrease so that HE can increase [John 3:30].

When I think of my life in terms of this, everything seems to fall into place. I've removed the control from my own hands and placed it into a something bigger and so much greater than me. I'm not awesome at this, every day. Not even close. In fact, I must daily shift my focus and battle the idea that I'm here to serve others and not myself. I'm here to show the love of Christ to my friends and family. I'm not here to have a really cute apartment and take rad pictures so that I can look like I have it all together.

We are in the season of lent right now. It's fairly common among us "religious" folk to give up something for the 40 days before Easter. Well I showed up late to the party because I was probably too busy focusing on myself rather than my Heavenly Father....so I popped in around 30 days. Better late than never, they say. So for the 30 days before Easter I've set my focus on reading through the entirety of the gospels. We're currently working through a blended gospel study at my church, detailing the life of Jesus, how He lived, and discovering who He claimed to be. It's my hope and my experience so far that I'll learn to better model the life that Jesus lived while I'm here on Earth. Because that my friends, is what it's about.

And if church and Jesus aren't really your thing, I get that. We all come from different paths and I don't want you to think I'm preaching at you. I'm agreeing with your chant of serving other people, together. I'll do it in the name of Christ, and you can do it in the name of love, and we can hold hands and serve others, together :)  I have learned so much about myself in 2014 so far, and much of it is due to consciously shifting my focus daily. I want to live a purpose driven life [what's up Rick Warren? church girl joke]. I want to lift up the name of Christ no matter what I do. I want to bring positivity into the lives of my friends, my clients, my family, and all those who cross paths with me. I am working toward this, daily. Matthew 16:24 reminds us that we must daily deny ourselves and pick up the cross so that we might follow Jesus.

And six paragraphs later, I think it's time to curl up in bed. Besides, you're probably all out of tea by this point. Friend, let's serve others together in the name of Christ, in the name of love, in the name of doing what's right, and being purposeful stewards with our lives.

19 Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal:
20 But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:
-Matthew 6:19&20

From the Inside Out by Hillsong United on Grooveshark

It's a mess, but it's not the end.



So there's a lot that's a mess right now, a lot of fairly standard mumbo-jumbo but it feels like a mess. There are mounds of laundry taking over my room, and there's been more take-out nights than I'd like to admit. Projects have been put off, and I can't tell you the last time I've been to the gym. All very average things, but sometimes it piles up and becomes a little out of control.

One of my very best friends mentioned to me that she recently started meditating before work. The meditation has been crucial to centering her focus on positive thoughts before she begins her daily tasks. This reminded me of the importance that prayer is in my life. Starting out my day and going through my day in communication with my Heavenly Father is SO important. My ever growing list of "messy" can easily be shamed if I made more time for prayer and centered my day on Christ.  Though it feels like the world is starting to pile on top of me, I'm taking comfort in the truth that each morning brings with it, a new day. This new day brings new opportunities and areas for improvement. Tomorrow I will try to do better, make healthier decisions, stay on task, and attempt to mend the messy areas.

Our little place is all decked out in C h r i s t m a s   c h e e r  so I'll walk head-on into the mess with an extra pep in my step. It's totally normal for sparkly decorations to add fuel to the mundane, right?

Little by little I'll conquer my very normal, average mess :)

Speaking of the gym, and not going to it, I think I'll eat my advent chocolate now.

another year older

Today, I turn twenty-five. 

At the ripe age of two-five... I'm happy. I live in a cute, comfortable apartment with my hubby and our sweet Turby. I'm on the brink of full-time photographer and by brink I mean I'm hopeful. I have fantastic friends in my life, both near and far away from me. I'm an auntie to three of the cutest kids I know. I've seen my extended family more lately and I heart that. I'm obsessed with succulents and all things plants. I became a member of our church this year and feel like I've finally found where I'm supposed to be, I heart you B-Way. Jeff is still in the Army and so happened to have drill this weekend, making it the third year [with the exception of last year] that we've been apart for my birthday, but we are so blessed by a lot that has come from the Army. I work at Starbucks and enjoy my free coffee. I listen to a lot of Rend Collective Experiment,  Hillsong, Mumford & Sons, and Ingrid Michaelson. I'm reading the fourth Harry Potter book and LA Candy, because I'd like to hang on to my youth. I'm fully in love with my Jesus like always. 

Twenty-five looks good to me. 


ups and downs
















today has been full up lots of ups and downs. 

at midnight last night my uncle passed away after battling cancer for a few years.
he was doing really well up until this last month, out of nowhere
the doctors told him there was nothing left for them to do
and so he went home to peacefully pass away. 
i'm okay, but my family is struggling.

we also got news today that my dad will be needing
spinal surgery for an injury he acquired a few months ago from 
falling down some wet stairs at our church. 
he will be okay, but it was just interesting timing for
God to give us that news on this day. 

but to lift our spirits Jesus blessed us with a baby today.
my Godson was born this morning and i couldn't be more ecstatic about that.
he is so unbelievably precious from the pictures i have seen.
i live about 2 hours away from mama bear and baby so i'll be going down
to spend some time with them in the next few days here.
it will be absolutely amazing and i can't wait 
to hold her little bundle of joy!

i also got to spend the afternoon with my little bro which 
was real fun. he came over to help me install this new printer
we got for free (score!) and then we had pizza and browsed around
barnes and noble. we don't get to see each other often lately because
we're two, busy college students and he has a little gal he
likes to spend time with ;) which is great because i love to see
him so happy and she's a sweetheart. oh to be young and in love.
sigh.
what am i saying? i am young and in love :)
anyway, today we got to hang for
a little while and i had a ton of fun with him!

so it was an interesting day altogether. 
i've been through some strange yet amazing emotions.
at the end of today i can be truly thankful for
sweet baby eli :) i love him so much already.