you're my beloved

 

I was on my way to Bible study the other night and
I was having a really big pity party for myself.
I miss my husband more than I can even put into words,
I'm scared half to death just because of his location.
Whenever I have fun or forget about real life for a little
I feel somewhat guilty because my husband is miserable
and more or less sleeping in dirt. 
So as all these things are running through my head
the song "Beloved" by Tenth Avenue North 
came on my Pandora station. 

You're my beloved lover
I'm yours
Death shall not part us
It's you I died for
For better or worse
Forever we'll be
My love it unites us and it binds you to me
It's a mystery

I couldn't help but let my tears fall.
I was so sad and so down hearted that the lover and creator of my soul
would let this awful time occur in my life.
I've just had such a hard time grasping the real reasons for it.
It hurt and I felt like I was real and honest with God for a minute.
Real about the hurt, questions, uncertainty and confusion.
But then I looked to the left, 
out my window...


One of the most beautiful sunsets I've seen in a long time.
I felt like Jesus met me in my pain.
The painted sky truly brought me comfort, 
he hadn't abandoned me in that moment even if it felt like he had.
But He reminded me that if I'd just let Him in a little further He would show me how
I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.
I wouldn't say I've overcome this battle of fear and sadness,
but I felt like Jesus was holding my hand in the car that evening. 
He knew I needed a physical sign from Him
letting me know I wasn't alone.

Zephaniah 3:17 
The Lord your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing.

The Lord my God is with me.
:)


14 comments:

  1. This is so beautiful. You brought tears to my eyes with your words. Praying for you, friend. Be strong.

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  2. this is my my MOST favorite post of yours so far.

    as much as it is against our human nature, i think God loves our moments of weakness because then can He be strong FOR us. i love God's love and that He always meets us exactly where we are. i i'm so thankful He did that with you.

    what a beautiful post, thank you so much for sharing and letting us all see a little piece of your heart.

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  3. aw girlfriend,what a beautifully honest post, so proud of you for reaching out and grasping at strength and hope even during some of the darkest times. sending lots of hugs your way! xx

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  4. What a beautiful post. It brought tears to my eyes... My husband has never been deployed, but I miss him so much when he's just gone for a couple days on a job. So I can imagine a little bit of what you're going through.. I'm so thankful you know the Lord though.. He is what will get you through this!!!
    Sunsets are my favorite, I feel like it's just a tiny glimpse of God's amazing glory, and it is always so uplifting and beautiful.
    Hang in there girly, and keep in the Word!!
    Much love - whitney

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  5. i love this... i love your post... its amazing what God does for us! even the little things.... love the pictures~!

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  6. i love those moments when we feel His love for us, they always come at just the right moments. hang in there girl, ur totally supported!!

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  7. love the pictures! i agree 100% with everything you posted! thats so neat how everything will work out for all of us! What a fun blog you have! I love it, and am excited to start catching up on all your posts!
    –karly
    www.karpluswade.blogspot.com

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  8. so beautifully true.
    ♥ i'm with charla beth--this has got to be my favorite of your posts so far.

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  9. This post is so sweet! Such an encouragement and an inspiration it was to me! Thank you for sharing your thoughts♥

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  10. Love the song and love this post. Some of the times when I feel God's presence the most in through his paintings in the sky. :)

    www.life-itssomethingbeautiful.blogspot.com

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  11. Hello nice blog ..... congratulations .... I will follow you ... do the same too ?!?!?
    XOXO

    http://vale-zagu.blogspot.com/

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  12. Your blogs are so moving, Nicole! Bless your sweet soul :)

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  13. I just started following you, I found you through a blog hop. This post is so amazing and such a good reminder of how even in our darkest hour God is with us.

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