Deployment Weekend

He is there and I am here
Those last 10 days came and went, just like I knew they would.
Still, some part of me feels like it's just a joke.
I'm going to come home late one night and Mr will answer the door,
he'll tell me he was just kidding and that he won't be going there, not now, 
not ever.
We'll stay up late, maybe bicker for a minute about whether we're going to watch 
American Chopper or Grey's Anatomy re-runs. 
We'll settle on Two and a Half Men though, because that's what we do.
Mr will fall asleep, but try really hard to stay up late with me
(because he knows I love it when he does).
But he'll fall asleep anyway, on accident usually, and I'll read my book.  
Every now and then I'll look at Mr and get butterflies 
knowing we belong to each other.
Everyone says babies are peaceful and most lovable when they sleep,
well, so are husbands
and sometimes, seeing him sleep so peacefully..
that's when I remember just how much I love him.


2 days before Mr and I took off for the big weekend, 
we were sitting on the couch and Mr's Dad text him.
I don't know what that text said but after he read it, he looked at me and said
it's here. 
My heart sank down lower than I'd ever felt.
We acknowledged it, the unspoken, the topic weighing on our minds since 
April 13th, a date that I will never forget. 
Deployment had arrived, and it came unfashionably on time. 
How selfish, rude and stupid of Deployment to do that!
After hearing those words it took everything in me not to curl up in bed 
and stay there for days.
I put on my big girl face and sucked it up.

We arrived at the hangar nice and early so Mr could get his bags in line 
and have their first formation.
I felt like I was handing Mr over to the care of someone else 
once he ran into formation.
From that point on, the Government owned him, and that scared me. 
General..Commander..Sergeant So-and-So, 
take care of my Mr and don't yell at him!
After formation we had a small window of free-time, so we took a pointless drive. 
After our short window of a break, we decided to follow the rules and go back, 
so Mr could get in.. yet, another formation. 
A BBQ also awaited us, so we had some motivation.
It was so moving to see this deploying group of soldiers 
in one, very large formation.
I remember standing by myself in awe at all of the men & women  
voluntarily fighting for my freedom. 
My husband stood beside those men and women. 
After the formation and BBQ 
we were free for the remainder of the night.

Day Two was the Yellow Ribbon Ceremony Day.
Throughout most of the ceremony
I listened to the speakers and it was fine.
I appreciated the General addressing family members and so on.
But, when it came time to call out the mobilization of Mr's unit, 
my heart beat out of my chest.
There's something about a man in uniform 
calling out orders from the President of the United States,
(and knowing that it was directed toward my husband)
that brings chills to anyone listening.
Here are a few pictures from the ceremony.

Once the ceremony came to a close Mr and I were given the rest of the day to do what we pleased.
I was so happy to have that last night with Mr.
We laughed, we held hands, we joked, we made memories.
found this awesome car in the Target parking lot.
who doesn't want Yoda to ride shot gun?


 Deployment day arrived. 
The countdowns were over. 
The anticipation was gone.
It was here.

It became real once we arrived to the hangar/air field. 
Families stood around taking pictures and holding on to their loved ones.
It was then that I realized deployment is hard for
more than just the spouse.
Young kids were holding on so tight to their Mommies and Daddies.
I felt like I could relate to these children though.
Almost like, if I started pouring my heart out to one of them..
they would listen..and know.
So I thought to my self,
If these children can do this I can do this.
I'm bigger, stronger, older..and wiser...right? 
But deep down inside I wanted to get on their level.
I wanted to kick and scream and not let go.
That wasn't an option though and,
I thought it'd be best if I didn't create a scene.
Nearly an hour and a half after we arrived it was time for Mr to line up. 
We said our goodbye,
I squeezed him with all I could
told him I loved him
and that was it.
Then he made his way through the crowd to find his place in line.
I watched him run out there.
I pushed my way through the crowd, right to the front.
I didn't take my eyes off of him the entire time.
The tears came out hard,
but I could still see a blurry Mr among all of those ACUs. 
A nice lady decided to give me a tissue and ask a little about
who I was sending off and if it was our first time, etc. 
She put her arm around me and made me feel less alone
for a few minutes.
So, thank you lady..whoever you are.
Before I knew it, every soldier had loaded onto the plane, but not without turning and waving goodbye to all of their loved ones below.
Mr told me what seat he was in.
He told me to get to the front of the crowd so he could see me.
At this point, I felt like my body was running out of energy and I was so exhausted from everything,
my mind was going crazy trying to comprehend what was happening.
Not much can prepare you for watching your whole life take off into the sky..
with out you.
But it came and went, just like those 10 days.
One minute we were in each others arms and the next
he was in the sky and out of reach.
I didn't take my eyes off that plane until it disappeared into the sky.
Once the plane was gone there was a rush of people.
I felt so out of place and just needed to get out of there.
So I did.

I miss my husband more than I can explain.
It's hard to put into words.
I get asked that question almost daily now.
"How is...that going for you?"
Well, to answer that question for you,

it's going...

I'm here, he's there's going.

Come home safe to me Mr.
I'm waiting.



  1. this made my heart hurt. i know no words that anyone shares can change the situation, but just know that you are being prayed for by so many people. thank you for sharing this with us.

    love you<3

  2. Reading your post made me get tear-eyed. Keep your head up, time goes by fast. Be strong for both.

  3. Hey hun! Thanks for finding my blog and deciding to follow :) I'm now your newest follower!

    This post totally made me cry.. gave me a good idea of what I can expect next year when Mister deploys. Unfortunately, its just one of those things that you never prepare for. Ugh. A great post this was though and I cant wait to continue reading! You both are in my prayers. If you need anything, just ask.

  4. Just stumbled upon your blog - this post was very moving and honestly made me cry like a baby! My hubby deploys in just a few months and I have never been through this before either. Thanks for sharing this story - I will be following you :)

  5. ooookay...just cried my eyes out.
    i'll be praying for you dear!