jeff: I gave blood today!me: how patriotic of you.
jeff: [shows me free shirt] I really just needed new clothes, and this is my first graphic-tee!
me: that's great, you should wear it
jeff: I gotta finish my coke first, I saved a life today, you know...
[I use alarms to remind me for EVERYTHING because I'm quite forgetful]
coworker: Hey is your phone the one with the dog on it?
me: Yup, is it ringing?
coworker: Well sorta...it has a "heart, two people holding hands and BC" I think it's time..
(realizes birth control alarm is FAR too recognizable to the public eye)
me: Thanks, that's an important one for sure!
[my phone is in the back room while I'm working on the floor helping customers]
coworker: Your alarm is going off
me: What time is it? shoot, yea it is...my bad
coworker 10 mins later: Were you going to turn that alarm off?
me: ahh YES! sorry about that.
manager: It's THAT time of the day Nicole!
*side eye* awkward...
me: awesome, I only work until 5:45 on Valentine's Day!
jeff: when's Valentine's Day again?
me: the 14th, obviously
jeff: that's not good, I planned a LOT of things to do on February 14th. I'm going to the range, playing golf in the morning..and, wait isn't it on the 12th this year?
me: real funny
[gross lady running, literally running out of the bathroom at Starbucks]
gross lady: [staring wide eyed at me as she opens b-room door] it wasn't me, it wasn't me! I washed my hands in the sink and there wasn't no toilet papers
me: enters scene of toilet paper thrown all over bathroom, sink left running, mounds of disgusting piling over the toilet seat and a stench that might take years to forget.
gross lady: continues running through store lobby, straight out the door
...it was her
[setting the scene] sitting on my couch editing pictures with our front door open because it's nice outside
little girl: excuse me!
me: hi there how can i help you?
little girl: my friends and i are starting a club, a dog walking club...can i walk your dog for free?
me: oh that's so sweet but i don't think we need a dog walking service right now, good luck with your club!
[insert random 60 year old man riding bike]
random man: hi excuse me miss...forgive me if i'm being intrusive, but have you lived in this house for like 40 years?
me: um no I have not
random man: 20 years?
me: [feeling nervous] ummm no
random man: oh oh oh okay um yea so i'm looking for this place [starts describing a house with a pickup truck and some random bush and driveway] and so i'm looking for this place, i was kind of famous like 40 years ago and i kind of got like abducted. you know how it is when you're famous..people treat you different and you have to change your last name and stuff. well anyway, you know the house i'm talking about right?
me: i'm sorry i don't think i can help you sir
random man: okay yea yea sorry um i dont mean to hassle you, i just was famous and you might know me, if you saw me on tv or something..just thought you might recognize me. have a nice day, sorry to be intrusive.
[little girl still standing there]
little girl: he's lying! you shouldn't believe people like that, unless you see him on tv...then you can totally believe he's an actor
me: yea hopefully we don't see him anymore...thanks for offering your dog walking services, good luck with that!
little girl: i also have a boyfriend and i'm 11 and he spent $200 on this ring..okay see you later
[i went inside and called the PD, don't worry guys]
do you guys encounter such weird things throughout the week or is it just me?!
click here for (v.1)