I'm not the person

that you should be complaining to. How is that hard to understand? I don't have sympathy for you. Your boyfriend stayed out all night and you miss him..I'm sorry, I honestly don't care and I'm not the person you should be talking to right now. Your girlfriend went back to college today and you're miserable..I'm sorry but I don't care about that either, because guess what? I haven't seen my husband in 8 months and the end isn't in sight. I can't talk to him whenever I want, our skype calls drop almost daily. We're in opposite time zones, on opposite sides of the world, he isn't safe. I don't care that you cried all day and turned on Netflix until you couldn't stand it anymore. Do you understand that's been my daily routine for 8 months and you haven't cared to check in even once? So my question for you is why? Why do you come to me? There are plenty of people who care that you haven't talked to your boyfriend all night or that your girlfriend lives across the country for a few months. But I'm sure as heck not one of them right now. I've tried to be understanding and supportive as much as I can. But I'm almost certain I've reached the end of my sympathy. The only place I really complain about deployment is here, I don't bring it into other people's lives and ask for prayer daily. Even though I need it, I don't do it because my problems are not other people's problems and in reality people don't want to hear it. If you cared to ask how I was doing every once in a while maybe you'd have my sympathy but the funny part of this is neither of you do. Not one time this whole deployment have either of you come to me and asked about my husband or me. Not one freaking time. So you think it's okay to come to me and complain about your relationship problems? Please reconsider. It literally makes me laugh. I'm tired of getting walked on and tired of being there for you.

14 comments:

  1. preach it! Of course I haven't been in this situation but you're exactly right and I've had friends like this who come to me and think I'm going to help them and listen to them when I haven't talked to them in so long. You're doing so great and I can't even imagine what you're doing! I know he thinks about you 28/8! ha <3 love ya!

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  2. I hear ya! It's very hard to listen to other ppl's minor problems when dealing with deployment. They don't understand, we don't understand them either or sympathize, so it's just best for both parties to talk to someone who does understand.

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  3. people don't get it. ;) sometimes you gotta smack em' in the face with it.

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  4. Great post. I am so sorry and I know exactly how you feel. I found out the hard way that the people who are the worst, will call during leave and expect the Soldier to drop everything and spend time with them. Where were they the last 10 months? Ugh. I can't wait for this stupid deployment to be over.
    Praying for you.

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  5. I can kind of imagine, but not truly, what you are going through. I so wish the stupid war was over and all our brave men and women could come home! Just hang in there!

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  6. You tell 'em! I never complain about my deployment, other than in my private blog. My best friends since Elementary school don't even bother asking how I'm doing and then expect me to bend over backwards for them. Screw that, it gets so old.

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  7. wow, that's hard.
    it sucks when people don't use their brains. :P

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  8. I felt the same way during our deployment. Actually, I still feel that way now. My MIL actually made a comment about how she is like a military wife because my FIL travels for work all the time. Umm, no. Not at all the same thing. I love my MIL to death, but no, don't go comparing our situations like that.

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  9. Ugh, been there!!! As soon as Joe got back, his brother had to go on a trip for a week - away from his wife. Both of them were on FB complaining about missing the other and all I wanted to do was scream!!! Seriously?! They knew that we went through a YEAR of separation. And they're complaining about a week!? SO frustrating. I have ZERO sympathy for civilians anymore. They never care to ask me if I'm okay while my husband is gone, yet they want sympathy when theirs is on a {completely SAFE} business trip? I DON'T THINK SO.

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  10. It's funny you mention this! I was JUST telling my relatives about how some people can't handle a few days apart from their loved one. And how I haven't had communication, other than letters, for months. Some people just annoy me. I am starting to grasp just how hard separation is... It's like a gnawing hunger in your heart that isn't filled until your man is back in your arms. I am pretty much dreading the day my man gets deployed. The statistics for his job aren't good. I thank God for the peace (and patience) He gives me though. Without Him, I'd be a mess 24/7! Anyways, keep your head up and know that your guy will be home soon(-ish)! And know that we're here for you in bloggy world. Keep the faith.
    Much love x

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  11. i agree! it't at this moment in time that you just want to karate chop them in throat so they'll shut up already

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  12. im a first time writer,but have been reading for a few weeks. my husband is on the last leg of the 3rd deployment of our marriage. I have a civilian friend whos complaining about little things doesnt really bug me because she makes sure that every day I get to spend an hour or few in the evening talking to her and I do my fair share of complaining. She also takes me out and really gives me a lot of time eventhough she has a family of her own!shes an angel. But then there are people who constantly come to me to whine about how their husbands are late from work and blah blah without ever asking me how Im doing. During his first trip to iraq while things were pretty bad there, I had a long time friend cause so much drama because I didnt "understand" how hard it was for her to live an hour from her boyfriend without owning a car while she acted like I didnt have a husband. people are so ignorant.

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