If we had coffee..

I'd ask you to listen.

I'd tell you things you might not expect. Not from a girl who appears so strong. I'd tell you that sometimes being honest with yourself relieves something deep down inside. I'd tell you I'm scared and lonely, but don't want your sympathy. You might offer it anyway, but I wouldn't be asking for it. I'd tell you it's hard, really hard and I don't always want to do it. But then I'd tell you I have a husband whose completely worth it. You might be thinking, "you signed up for this." I'll kindly remind you, I did not. I simply fell in love and three years later he signed.. but I still loved. So no, I did not sign up for this. But once again, I would remind you he is worth it. I'd tell you that sometimes I forget to pray. God kindly reminds me He's there though, even when I forget. I'd tell you about my photography and how I get lost behind my lens. Even further, how it brings me happiness and a peace of mind when I can't hardly get through a day, and the joy it brings me when people believe I have a talent. You might be tired of listening to me talk by now, but I'd still need you to listen. I'd tell you how you don't understand..even though you aren't really supposed to. I'd tell you twelve months is a long time, and I'm terrified of them even though we'll make it through better people. I'd tell you that it's real. The pain is real, and the love is real. Once more, I'd remind you he is worth it. I'd tell you I feel vulnerable for admitting these things. I'd ask you to pray for me. It's the only thing I can hold on to. I'd tell you I'm not emotional and rarely cry. Even during this time, when I feel like I should cry, I don't (at least not often). But it still hurts and it's still real. There's still days I don't want to wake up or get dressed.  But, I'd tell you I'm proud, so totally and completely proud. Although I'm all those other things, nothing out weighs how proud I am of my husband.

I'd thank you for listening. 

But, that's only if we had coffee..