a letter to you

bubs,

this week has been hard and it hurts. i dont know when we will talk again and i hate coming to terms with that. isn't this supposed to get easier? i'm trying to hold it down here at home but it's harder than you might think. i get really annoyed with every couple i come in contact with. honestly, i feel bad about it but i know you feel the same way and you're the nicest person i know so i can justify it :) i made salad and french fries for dinner, and i may have cereal for my snack [an overwhelming amount of nutrition, i know] wish you were here to make fun of me and how i can't cook.  i promise i'll try and learn while you're gone. seriously, i'll be a chef when you come home. or at least fixing more than chicken and rice for a gourmet meal. remember when i tried making you pancakes before church and you had to come in and save the day because apparently i try to flip pancakes when they're still completely soupy? you laughed and i felt a little embarrassed but now i know that once there's bubbles you flip the pancake, so thanks. i dont know where i'd be without all of your practical advice. on a different note, i haven't shaved my legs in quite some time now. you'd be disappointed and thoroughly grossed out. but don't worry they'll be smooth when you come home :). i miss the way you would wake me up way before i was ready to get up in the morning, because you woke me up by cuddling me to death. that's my favorite part about our mornings together, just so you know. remember how we fell asleep the night before you left? i fell asleep in your arms and woke up there. we never really did that cuz we both get so hot while we sleep, but that night it was perfect and we did it so good. we were both so excited when we realized we slept the whole night cuddling. i saw american chopper on the tv guide list today and i wanted to watch it just because i know it's your favorite. i couldn't do it though because it made me sad. i always loved watching fantasy factory with you because rob made you laugh so hard. that night we stayed in the kitchen until like 2 in the morning watching episodes on my computer, using the neighbors wifi, when we lived in virginia..haha..i don't know why i liked that night so much but i thought it was fun. we had so much fun in virginia, on our own..newly engaged. i can't wait for you to be home bub. it's just not the same here without you. i try not to think about all of the things we used to do together, that i now do alone, because it just hurts too much. i'm so ready for this deployment to be over. i want so badly to wake up to your cuddling. be safe baby. 

i love you to the moon,

me